Colors

I have a present for you
It’s a jacket
Nice brand too
But it’s not my color, I said
What is your favorite color?

Oh that got me good
I’ve been wearing gray and black for so long
But I couldn’t say if those are my favorite
I just
Stopped noticing colors at some point

In the dusty suffocating haze
Of thoughts, commandments, ideas,
Of anger, sadness, and shame,
Of guilt and pressure,
and performance to a mediocre standard

I never accepted all that
Somewhere deep inside
a feeling, I imagined,
It could be different
Colors were absent but, they existed

I was so out of touch
With most of my self
Held strong to the little bits left
Of gray and black
And there in that moment

With that turquoise jacket
I was seen and caught
Pulled back as if from the edge of a cliff
To reconsider
My favorite color.