A question

When I was little
I looked for your joy
Why was it so hard?
When did you lose it?

I didn't have the words
It was too much for tears
So I pressed it all down
Where no one could see it!

But now that I've grown
I feel it again
I’m done with your shit
I just wanna be sane.

I pray and I pray
May you feel relief
So I can be free
To feel on my own.